To my friend

When I was a kid, I had this mental image of the woman I believed would eventually be my wife. She was blonde, about 5'4", loved hunting, was a genius, and did lots of outdoorsy stuff. She also was great genetics for my five blonde sons who were essentially "Little Alex" X 5.
When I got to college, this woman evolved a little, to having red hair and freckles. However, a penchant for the outdoors and a sharp mind were still just as essential. I had in my head this hilariously (in retrospect) improbable image where I'd be in my pickup driving to some outdoorsy location to do something outdoorsy with my dog and she'd pull up in her Jeep, headed to the same place, with her dog. We'd get there and fall in love and do outdoorsy things. She'd turn out to be a biochemistry major, accepted to med school.

Later on, when I was a little older and a lot less stupid, I realized that what I thought would make me happy was in fact a woman that was no more than just "me with a vagina." I didn't want a partner, someone who would be different than me and challenge me to do new and different things, and to see the world in a different way. What I thought I wanted was a clone of myself because hey, I'm pretty cool, wouldn't be fun if I could hang out with myself? I was so content with my lifestyle, so clear about what I enjoyed doing, that I just wanted a female facsimile of myself to do the stuff I already enjoyed doing with me. Or so I thought.

Then I met my future wife. She was just the opposite of me. She liked 70's music, I hate it. She liked the beach, I hate it. She liked art, I never cared for it. She hates ticks so strongly that she'll avoid going outdoors if they are a factor, I consider them inconsequential. I love football, she thinks it is boring. And yet, her sharp mind and hilarious wit kept me around. And with blondes and redheads in my sights, she was (of course) a brunette.
And so its funny that she is perfect for me. She stretches me. She forces me to exit my comfort zone. She teaches me to be patient with others, to not be afraid to dress funny.

In any case, my friend, I know that you are out there, looking for a wife. I know that you think that you will find a woman that will share some of your interests, and if she does that is great. But just don't expect a female you to come along and be perfect for you. Imagine what you want in a wife, and then check off any of those things that sound more like something you'd find in a dude than in a dudette. Replace them with the exact opposite of what you had written.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, or that my wife is, or that our marriage is perfect. We fight. Her penchant for watching episodes of Supernatural when I want "adult time" drives me nuts. My dislike for cuddling, ever, frustrates her to no end.

But she makes me happier than a female TAE ever would.


_