This Absurd Flap About Horse Meat

As I sat there, eating a McChicken Sandwich (containing whitish-pink paste that vaguely resembles chicken), I had to wonder why everyone is freaking out over horse meat in the other meat. Is the righteous indignation over the fact that poor widdle helpless horsies are getting ground up into burgers, or is it that we're eating something that is "one thing" but its actually "partially another thing?"

Because let's face it folks, if there was one thing we could say about the First World Diet, it's that deception is the key to success. Nacho Cheese Doritos aren't actually slathered in nacho cheese. The "cheeseburger" at McDonald's contains a cheese-like square of oil on top of a soy-burger hybrid. Subway's menu, though featuring roast beef, ham, and turkey, quietly admits "all meat products are turkey-based".

Let's be honest with ourselves: our food isn't what they advertise it as. Only the blissfully naive really think "burger" is all burger. Only a fool thinks "organic" is really organic.


_